“My peace I give unto you.” I studied peace and how faith and peace coincide for a couple days, and then Sunday in Relief Society, the lesson was on peace! Amazing. It was a tender mercy, because hearing it from someone else, that faith and peace and patience are all connected, and also hearing it in a language that I’ve come to love was a blessing, because I was then hearing 3 languages; English, Dutch, and the Spirit.
Peace is something I’ve been searching for the past couple weeks. Missions are not always happy-go-dory and peaches and plums and whatever else lots of people say… a lot of times, it is all those happy things, but it’s also rough. Sometimes it’s real rough.
But hey, the Lord doesn’t keep us there for long. We go through the rough and come out tough. 🙂
Knocking doors in frigid cold and everyone gets grumpy with you for making them open their door and let the cold in… heh heh. If it’s cold, let us in! haha just kidding. But really though, if you’re opening your door, it’s not our fault and no, you might not believe in God or in happiness, but we are not going to force you to do anything. Man alive, sometimes I don’t understand people. Or the weather.
Also feelings of inadequacy are frequent on a mission. You feel like you can’t do anything right and your worth is basically lower than the bottom of the bottomless pit. You can’t do it for another moment. I can’t walk into the rain. I can’t bike through ice-rain. I can’t stay awake through planning. I can’t think straight because I have a head cold but we have appointments. We are never on time because of weather and public transportation.
But, guess what? Numbers don’t matter as much as the people and if you didn’t get in a word on that doorstep, it wasn’t because of you. The Lord will love you no matter what. You might not think you can speak the language, even your native language, good enough to communicate your message–but it is not your message. It’s not your voice that they need to hear. It’s the Spirit’s. And if you have the Spirit with you, then you are doing exactly what the Lord wants you to do. You will not be perfect–do not expect that. Please please please realize that no matter what your numbers say, no matter what the people outside do or say, it is between you and the Lord. You are doing good. You’re doing His work! His work is perfect, His workers are not.
What matters is that we keep trying. We study the Christlike Attributes in Preach My Gospel and we try try try and work to become more like Him. With Him we can do all things. We can’t do all things at one time, but we can do it all in His time.
Oh man. Peace helps me so much. I can take a breath and realize that if I was supposed to be doing something else, the Spirit would have guided me to do that other thing. But while I’m here, and if it feels good, then I know the Spirit is with me and that I’m in the right place.
We are worth it if we are trying to come closer to Christ. We can’t think we’re already there, we can’t teach or help people if we come across as perfect, saved people. Heck no. We have to travel with them in order to be able to help them. We are not perfect, and neither are they. We all need help and we can all go along with each other to help them.
Find peace through Jesus. Find Him through the rough times, and realize that in the rough times, you are still of worth to Him. He will never think you are not doing enough as long as you get up and do what you feel is right. Prayer is the best way to peace.
I know this and I love this knowledge. I’ve been learning so much through the hard, ridiculous times on my mission. I’ve also learned so much from the wonderful, amazing experiences. I love it all. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Thanks for listening to my rant for the week.
Hope you’re all safe and know you’re all cared for and loved. 🙂
love, Zuster Faasavalu